The house feels very empty. Every room reminds me of Baubles the Cat. The bedroom, where she slept with us. The bathroom, where she had her water bowl and used to sit and watch us in the shower. The living room, where she used to lounge with us whenever we watched any movies or tv. The kitchen, where she used to have her meals. My study, where she used to sit with me in the mornings.
On Monday night Baubles the Cat wanted to go out into the front yard. M let her out. She liked to sit in the ground under the palm trees. The gate normally would have prevented her from wandering, but that night, for some reason, the latch didn’t fasten properly. When M went to get her inside before we went to bed (around 10:30pm), the gate was wide open, and Baubles was nowhere to be found.
We wandered up and down the street looking in people’s yards. I was petrified that Baubles would try and cross a road and get hit by a car. We asked the neighbours if they had seen her - no, they hadn’t, they said, holding their dog, but they would keep an eye out. After an hour of searching I went to bed. I couldn’t sleep, though. I kept listening out for the meow at the door that Baubles usually gave when she wanted to come inside. It didn’t help that it was a very windy night. There was a lot of noise outdoors and every sound made me want to jump up and go and look for her again. M didn’t come to bed for some time and I could hear him go outside every hour or so.
In the morning when I got out of bed, still no Baubles. I felt empty and a sense of dread at the same time. Baubles always came home - even when she had her bad accident over ten years ago (her pelvis was crushed), she dragged herself back. I went out to the street and looked - nothing. I sat around, unable to concentrate on anything, waiting for the sun to rise so it would be light outdoors.
Then M got up, and he too went out and looked again. And again. Just before 7am I don’t know what made me go outside but I did, to be greeted by the awful sight of M walking down the drive with a grey bundle in his hands and a look of horror on his face. It was poor poor Baubles. M had grabbed a stool to stand on and look over the fence and had found her. She had been in the neighbour’s yard the whole time - their dog had killed her. She would have been 17 years old this year.
She was cold and stiff and her fur matted and covered in the sand and dust of the neighbour’s yard. Her back - I could feel it was broken. She no longer looked like Baubles but I wrapped her in my oldest pillow case, because it was the softest thing from the bed.
We were going to bury her in the front yard in the spot where she loved to sit, but the ground is so hard and dry that poor M had a hard time trying to dig a deep enough hole. So we took her to the vet and asked them to cremate her. We’ll probably get her ashes back next week.
We’re not surprised she went to the neighbour’s yard. Ever since we moved into this house she’d been fascinated by their huge yard with its many trees and lush weeds. There’s a gap in the fence separating our yards and Baubles spent much time peering through it into their yard. I’m sure she knew there was a dog living there, but maybe she thought she could handle it - it has the strangest wheeziest bark I have ever heard, and when I saw it on Monday night I was surprised to see it was a large Staffy (or some similar breed). I hadn’t realised it was such a large dog.
The neighbours were horrified - the guy started beating the dog, and the woman started crying - but I don’t blame the dog. It was just being a dog. Would she have stood a better chance if her hind legs were stronger? Her right hind leg had the habit of collapsing under her from time to time, and her left hind paw was misshapen from her old accident.
I guess Baubles’s curiosity got the better of her. In some ways I am glad this is how we lost her - Baubles having her last adventure. She was getting old and we were readying ourselves for her illness and infirmity. This way we will always remember her being vital and crotchetty.
