It’s five weeks to Christmas, or 36 more sleeps, as Meg at Dipping into the Blogpond puts it.
Like Meg it’s the present-giving that I find most stressful. Every year I find that I dislike the whole present-giving rigmarole more and more. Between my two families there are some 40 - 50 presents to be given (more or less depending on whether we buy gifts for ‘couples’ or individuals), and it just degenerates every year into an exercise in comparative list-making (comparative in the sense that I keep a tally of what I gave people in 2005 or 2006 so that I don’t give them the same thing. It’s so meaningful!).
Some might argue that I should just plan my Christmas shopping better, start earlier, even. My riposte to that is that I work fulltime, and 40 - 50 presents is a lot of shopping. If I was to plan it well in advance, it would mean that I would be spending quite a lot of my year shopping for these gifts, and making sure people are crossed off that infernal list. I dunno, the whole exercise utterly takes the joy out of giving for me.
I don’t know what the solution is, really. Last year we made gingerbread and cookies instead of giving people things, which was a nice idea, but at that time of year there’s just so much food around I don’t know if edible gifts really make much of an impression. Also, some of my family members now have to watch what they eat, so a sugary/ high fat/gluten-laden gift isn’t really the best thing to be giving them.
Let me stress here that I don’t begrudge children (say under the age of 15 or so) their pressies, but for everyone else? Although I do sometimes wonder what sort of message we’re giving children when all it becomes is a gimme gimme gimme session. (And I haven’t even mentioned the cost of all these presents!)
I’d rather just spend Christmas with people, and not worry about the presents. I really enjoy the get-togethers and catching up with people.
Am I just being churlish? What do you do for Christmas? Do you find it as painful as I do?
Yes, yes and yes! It’s the reason why i’m not doing it this year, not even cards. I feel for you and those 40-50 presents. Sounds hellish.
40-50 - that way lies madness, surely? I only give a few but I still struggle for weeks with it, especially for brothers-in-law.
I actually do keep an eye open throughout the year. Sometimes you’re in a museum gist shop or something and you see something that says “Dad would just love that!”. Stick it in a cupboard and tick him off the list.
I make myself easy to buy for - god bless the Amazon wishlist.
Our Christmas giving is spoiled because all the younger lot want is money. I shouldn’t really complain as this makes it really simple - but it does take some of the magic out of the day.
CW, I feel for you. There are only four people I need to give presents to in my family (my parents, my sister and brother-in-law), and no nieces or nephews. A few friends. SO the most stressful part of Christmas for me is usually the writing of Christmas cards, and to make that not a waste of money I usually get some from the RSPCA, and some from Amnesty International. For me Christmas is a religious holiday, so when I have observed the four weeks of Advent the actual day is very exciting and meaningful. I have always gone to Coffs Harbour to be with my parents for it, which is great fun in itself. The worst part of it is going to a midnight service on Christmas Eve and then to the early morning (7am) service on Christmas Day.
We only give gifts to immediate family and the odd dear friend. This year I’m doing small hampers of mostly homemade things including lemon cordial, rhubarb & vanilla fruit mince, herbal vinegars, cookies, mini-Christmas cakes and some sweets like rocky road. I’ve also been making some spice mixtures and rubs for things too like ras el hanout and bbq rubs. I am also making some eco-bags - shopping bags made from calico and canvas. I’m fortunate that I have the time to do this I know - but I do enjoy it as well.
40-50 presents is way too much! A family meeting might be in order maybe?
Wish lists are great I reckon.
I’m with most of the people here. That’s an awful lot of presents! As Penny suggests, maybe a tactful discussion about how much less stressful it would be if you only bought for the kids. Or, if you’re super organised, a secret santa where everyone just buys for one person… It has to start with someone making a stand, but then you don’t want to look like a grinch either. Tough call
Thanks guys. I’m still pondering what to do about this. Jl I can’t wait for you to come over
I actually like writing Christmas cards (especially to those people I don’t keep in more frequent contact with)… I usually get my cards from Oxfam, Sheena.
Tom, only problem with wishlists is they can sometimes degenerate into a materialist fiasco (to me). I dunno, something in me just rejects the whole notion that it’s about “getting stuff”. Maybe I just need to get over it. If it had religious significance for me (like Sheena) I might be able to focus on that…
Nice to hear from you Rob
No way I’m giving money - it’s bad enough that we have Chinese New Year, where the gift is money!
Penny I wish I had the time to make things, but this year I will be working all the way up to and including Christmas eve, so even shopping is going to be a challenge!
Thanks for dropping by, Meg
I really like the secret santa idea!
Thanks all for your thoughts.
I too am feeling like the gift-searching and gift-giving part of xmas that my family has done for the last 38 years oft lacks the sentiment that I feel ought to be present during xmas.
This year my brother’s family (with kids) is in a very, very tight financial pinch - and I know that there will be a big struggle to keep up with the previous years’ gift givings.
I’d like to know what other families and friends do during xmas eve to keep the holiday special - besides focusing on the gift giving.
I also predict that any attempt to stray from the usual course of events for the evening may be met with stares and sighs. Just like last year when I thought I’d read a Christmas story that I like - it was like pulling TEETH to get them excited about it. I think they secretly liked it. I hope.
happy holidays